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bethpenzer. I wish my skin looked as clear as this right now 'cause let me tell yo

I wish my skin looked as clear as this right now 'cause let me tell you, it does not๐Ÿ™ƒ

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bethpenzer. Yesterday Jess and I went for a walk in the park as we didn't really h

Yesterday Jess and I went for a walk in the park as we didn't really have any 'set' plans. As it was a last minute decision, I didn't have my camera but I managed to take a photo I feel somewhat okay with on my phone and the more I look at it, the more I remember everything I noticed there - which lead to this: The sun's rays warm my back whilst a cool breeze brushes against my cheek, like Winter's goodbye kiss Golden light beams down, slowly lifting life from the damp soil Flowers bloom, vibrant bursts of yellow, purple and blue catch my eye The sweet taste of raspberry sauce sticks to my lips as I indulge in an ice cream The sound of children's laughter echoes through the air and dogs race through the green after sticks and tennis balls Spring, is here. Sometimes loose plans end up being the best days๐Ÿ’› --------------------- #blogger #spring #sundaythoughts #flashesofdelight #thehappynow #petitejoys #livethelittlethings #amblifeiscolourful #mybeautifulmess #calledtobecreative #thatauthenticfeeling #postitfortheaesthetic #theartofslowliving #aquietstyle #seekthesimplicity #makeitblissful #chooselovely #howyouglow #oneofthebunch #livecreatively #momentsofmine #beauthentic

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bethpenzer. Lazy Sunday mornings are my favourite. I didn't get up until 10.30 - w

Lazy Sunday mornings are my favourite. I didn't get up until 10.30 - whether that's considered a lay in or not is up to you but it certainly is for me! I started my day with tea and biscuits in bed followed by cuddles with my dog. I finally emerged from my duvet cocoon when the sunlight crept through the gap in my curtains. It felt warm against my cheek. Spring is coming and I can't wait. It's my second favourite season (after Autumn of course). I love how life gently lifts it's head after a cold, sleepy Winter. Daffodils bloom, the sun shines for a little longer, lambs are born - it's beautiful. Who else is excited for Spring?๐Ÿƒ๐Ÿ‘๐ŸŒธโ˜€๏ธ --------------------- #blogger #lazysunday #sundaymorning #sundaythoughts #flashesofdelight #thehappynow #petitejoys #livethelittlethings #amblifeiscolourful #mybeautifulmess #calledtobecreative #thatauthenticfeeling #postitfortheaesthetic #theartofslowliving #aquietstyle #seekthesimplicity #makeitblissful #chooselovely #howyouglow #oneofthebunch #livecreatively #momentsofmine #beauthentic

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bethpenzer. Today was a good day. I'm putting all of the \"I could've done this\" an

Today was a good day. I'm putting all of the "I could've done this" and "what if I'd pushed myself further" thoughts aside because today, I'm not comparing myself to other people - it's pointless and self-destructive. I did good! I left the house on time which I haven't managed to do since losing my sister as my ability (or lack of) to manage time pretty much went to mush๐Ÿ™ƒ, I managed both of my morning lectures (something I haven't been able to do since starting second semester), I controlled my anxiety (instead of the other way around)๐Ÿ™…โ€โ™€๏ธ, I walked places around campus on my own, dealt with unexpected changes and submitted an assignment๐Ÿ˜Œ I also had an appointment with a new GP and I'm FINALLY getting referred to a professional who can help me manage my Autism-related difficulties which I've never received support for in the past๐ŸŽ‰ I may not have done a full day at uni but I'm getting there and it's okay to take slow, small steps๐Ÿ’› I should also take my own advice as I've been doing things at my own pace for years and I still feel like a failure from time to time (as much as I try not to)๐Ÿ˜… Anyways, if you've got to the end of this post, thanks! You may now enjoy this photo of my dog/child๐Ÿ’– ------------------------------ #blogger #mentalhealthblogger #grief #griefjourney #thoughts #thehappynow #petitejoys #livethelittlethings #theartofslowliving #aquietstyle #seekthesimplicity #makeitblissful #chooselovely #howyouglow #oneofthebunch #momentsofmine #beauthentic

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bethpenzer. Over the past month, my self-confidence has plummeted and I'm finding

Over the past month, my self-confidence has plummeted and I'm finding it difficult to love myself - which isn't helped by the sore, red spots that lurk beneath my strategically placed concealer. My cheeks are pretty much covered with painful, cystic acne and the scars it's left behind (so much so that I've actually forgotten what my skin looked like prior to their invasion) which seems to be spreading to my jawline and chest. I've struggled with my skin since I was 12. I remember learning about puberty at school and of course, the delight that is acne - and I was the only kid in my class who had it. Red and yellow spots, big and and small filled my forehead. I hated them. The girl in front of me (I'm not into naming and shaming so I'll call you A for now - pretty little liars reference not intended) turned around, pointed at me and laughed. That kinda thing sticks with you and it's taken me years to learn to love myself and realise that acne doesn't make me any less beautiful. I still have bad days which seem to be most days at the moment but on the odd occasion, I look at myself in the mirror and feel okay. So here's a selfie from one of my better days. ------------------------------ #blogger #mentalhealth #mentalhealthblogger #acne #skinpositivity #skincareblogger #selflove #selfcare #beautyblogger #bblogger #motd #bloggershare #blendtherules #beauty #morphe #cosmetics #maccosmetics #benefitcosmetics #benebabe #benefitbrows #barrymcosmetics #nyx #nyxcosmetics #makeuprevolution #browcote #rimmel #pastimewithpenz

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bethpenzer. Being someone who often feels lost, I cherish moments where I get a gl

Being someone who often feels lost, I cherish moments where I get a glimpse of the person I want to become. For a few minutes, ideas flood my brain of what I want to do and how I can get there. I feel inspired. I have outbursts of creativity; rushing to do write down every idea and thought before it's lost forever. I love those moments. I had one of these moments last week. I constructed an entire list of blog post ideas, makeup looks, things I want to paint and videos I want to create (rhyme unintended). I stopped making content on YouTube as I didn't know who I was or what 'style' of videos I wanted to make and by the time I'd finished editing and uploaded what I had made, I didn't feel connected to it anymore. I was my own worst enemy, comparing myself to others with every. single. upload. The whole thing became pretty toxic - so I gave it up. Now, I feel like I'm finding little bits of myself everyday. I don't have or need a certain 'style'. I've learnt to embrace my creative outbursts and what does it matter if none of them 'go'? There are so many things that make me... well, me! And I want to share them. I miss making content, the excitement I felt before posting a new video (not that any of them did particularly well lol). The other day, I watched myself back and I struggled to recognise the girl in the video. She was much slimmer, masking her emotions with a smiley and somewhat comical front. Although, I'd be lying if I said I didn't laugh to myself at my mediocre attempts of 'comedy'. I'm not sure when I'll start uploading videos again as there's a LOT going on right now and finding time to film is difficult but I will do it. --------------------- #blogger #mentalhealthblogger #thoughts #sunrise #wanderlust #flashesofdelight #thehappynow #petitejoys #livethelittlethings #amblifeiscolourful #mybeautifulmess #calledtobecreative #thatauthenticfeeling #postitfortheaesthetic #theartofslowliving #aquietstyle #seekthesimplicity #makeitblissful #chooselovely #howyouglow #oneofthebunch #livecreatively #momentsofmine #beauthentic

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bethpenzer. Today I uploaded my first ever book review on my blog! (I'll pop the l

Today I uploaded my first ever book review on my blog! (I'll pop the link in my bio). I didn't expect to upload it just yet but I had a burst of creavity and I had to seize the moment - anyone who creates anything will get what I mean!๐ŸŒž I finished writing, took photos, edited them and uploaded and honestly, I loved the spontaneity! I felt genuinely excited about what I was making which is something I haven't felt in a while. I managed to take photographs in the last few minutes of sun light and I couldn't be happier with how they turned out!๐Ÿ˜Š I won't say too much about the book as I've discussed my thoughts in more detail in the review but Secrets for the Mad has given me a safe space I can escape to and has made me want to read and enjoy reading again. @doddleoddle, you're crazy talented and thank you for this ART๐Ÿ’› --------------------------- #secretsforthemad #dodie #bookreview #blogger #bookblogger #bloggershare #bblogger #blogginggals #selfcare #flashesofdelight #thehappynow #ambhappylife #petitejoys #livethelittlethings #calledtobecreative #verilymoment #theartofslowliving #aquietstyle #seekthesimplicity #makeitblissful #chooselovely #howyouglow #oneofthebunch

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bethpenzer. Thinkin' about how I'm gonna tell my girlfriend that I stole her @make

Thinkin' about how I'm gonna tell my girlfriend that I stole her @makeuprevolution eyeshadow palette today๐Ÿ˜ Sorry not sorry @jessicaklowe๐Ÿค— ------------------------------ #motd #modelmalay #blogger #beautyblogger #bblogger #fashionblogger #bloggershare #blendtherules #beauty #morphe #cosmetics #maccosmetics #benefitcosmetics #benebabe #benefitbrows #barrymcosmetics #nyx #nyxcosmetics #makeuprevolution #browcote #revlon #pastimewithpenz

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DISCLAIMER: This post is basically a de-clutter of my mind so if you're not in the best place mentally at the moment, you might wanna skip past this one!๐Ÿ’› ----------------------------------- Today is weird. I feel like I'm asleep even though I'm awake. I woke up at lunch time, not being able to remember anything I'd done the night before or turning off my alarm this morning. I'm so tired that nothing feels real. Perhaps staring at photographs from happier times will trigger something in my brain and make me realise that I am actually alive and not trapped in a floaty existence of 'just getting through the day'. Right now, I am lost. I am numb. I don't know who I am. The things I'd do to distract my brain on a daily basis have become a tedious routine. I don't want to live a life of distractions. I want to live. I wish time would stop so I could figure out how to do something that sounds so simple, but time won't stop and living is anything but that. My head hurts. My brain feels like it's bursting at the seams with thoughts it has to room to contain. Every thought I've ever had has passed (eventually) and I know this will too, but that doesn't make my brain any easier to get along with. Grief is one of the hardest things I've ever had to go through and mental illness sucks and losing two people who I love dearly has really shaken things up in my brain but I will get through this (and all the other crap days) and I will learn to live again. ---------------------- #mentalhealth #mentalhealthblogger #cotswolds #travelblogger #wanderlust #flashesofdelight #pursuepretty #darlingmovement #thehappynow #ambhappylife #thatsdarling #petitejoys #livethelittlethings #amblifeiscolourful #mybeautifulmess #calledtobecreative #DScolor #thatauthenticfeeling #verilymoment #postitfortheaesthetic #theartofslowliving #aquietstyle #seekthesimplicity #makeitblissful #chooselovely #howyouglow #oneofthebunch #england #GloriousBritain

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bethpenzer. I thought I'd give you guys an update on how I'm getting on with my ne

I thought I'd give you guys an update on how I'm getting on with my new @thebodyshop skincare routineโœจ So far I'm loving the seaweed gel wash and oil-balancing clay mask, both products leave my skin feeling clean, cool and calm๐ŸŒŠ๐ŸŒฟ The gel wash is super refreshing in the morning when my skin is looking dull and tired - basically how I feel after I've rolled out of bed!๐Ÿ™ƒ The tea tree clearing facial wash is great when I'm experiencing break outs too๐Ÿ‘Œ I'll discuss all the products in more detail in a blog post which is going up this Sunday!โœ Link to my most recent post is in my bio! --------------------------- #thebodyshop #bodyshopteatree #skincarehaul #blogger #bloggershare #bblogger #beautyblogger #blogginggals #selfcare #skin #skincare #skincareaddict #iloveskincare #productreview #flashesofdelight #thehappynow #ambhappylife #petitejoys #livethelittlethings #calledtobecreative #verilymoment #theartofslowliving #aquietstyle #seekthesimplicity #makeitblissful #chooselovely #howyouglow #oneofthebunch

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Thanks so much @lizbotfield_ for taking cute photos of us when I left my camera at home๐Ÿ™ƒ I had such an amazing time in the Cotswolds over the weekend with the best companyโค A break in the countryside away from social media and other stresses was just what I needed. I recently wrote a list of little but important things (inspired by @doddleoddle) and one of the things I wrote was the cosy feeling you get when you wrap your hands around a hot drink in the cold - I was holding a cup of tea in this photo. The wind was cold and sharp against my face, my hands were turning red and my finger tips were numb - but I was grounded. So grounded. It turns out that the clichรฉ 'it's the little things' is true and when you spend a LOT of time feeling spaced out, you learn to notice and appreciate these things. I've visited the Cotswolds quite a few times now and it's really beginning to feel like home... I think I could get used to that๐Ÿก ---------------------- #cotswolds #travelblogger #adventures #exploring #wanderlust #flashesofdelight #pursuepretty #darlingmovement #thehappynow #ambhappylife #thatsdarling #petitejoys #livethelittlethings #amblifeiscolourful #mybeautifulmess #calledtobecreative #DScolor #thatauthenticfeeling #verilymoment #postitfortheaesthetic #theartofslowliving #aquietstyle #seekthesimplicity #makeitblissful #chooselovely #howyouglow #oneofthebunch #england #GloriousBritain

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bethpenzer. Here's a makeup look from a few days ago I didn't get round to posting

Here's a makeup look from a few days ago I didn't get round to postingโœจ Now, I'll be honest, I've fallen a little out of love with makeup at the moment as I'm getting bored with my usual 'style' and I'm struggling for ideas for new looks๐Ÿ™„ I'd love to hear what you guys want to see and if there's any palettes you could recommend, let me know!๐Ÿ’‹ PRODUCTS USED: ------------------------ EYES ~ Morphe 39A Dare To Create Artistry Palette NYX HD Eyeshadow Base Collection Lasting Perfection Concealer 'EXTRA FAIR' I Heart Revolution Dragon's Heart Highlight MAC In Extreme Dimension 3D Mascara Barry M Kohl Pencil White Eylure Strip Lash Adhesive BROWS ~ Benefit Brow Zings 'Light' Browcote Waterproof Brow Gel FACE ~ NYX Studio Perfect Primer 'Green' MAC Studio Fix Fluid 'NC10' NYX Sculpt & Highlight Duo Collection Lasting Perfection Concealer 'EXTRA FAIR' Revlon Powder Blush MAC Studio Fix Perfecting Powder 'Light' Barry M Matte Setting Mist I Heart Revolution Dragon's Heart Highlight LIPS ~ Morphe Liquid Lipstick 'PHATTY' ------------------------------ #motd #modelmalay #blogger #beautyblogger #bblogger #fashionblogger #bloggershare #blendtherules #beauty #morphe #cosmetics #maccosmetics #benefitcosmetics #benebabe #benefitbrows #barrymcosmetics #nyx #nyxcosmetics #makeuprevolution #browcote #pastimewithpenz

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bethpenzer. In the early hours of yesterday morning, my Nan passed away. Her healt

In the early hours of yesterday morning, my Nan passed away. Her health had been deteriorating for a while and she'd spent the last 6 days in hospital. We were told to prepare for her passing but nonetheless, it's still difficult to process that she's gone. Even in the last few days, her heart was beating strong and she wasn't going to let go easily - she always was stubborn. Last year, I felt like I'd become closer with my Nan. Jess and I would go to visit her and we'd spend hours sat on the sofa listening to her stories from when she was younger about how she snuck out when she was grounded, sliding down the drain pipe and the time her friend Margaret's mini skirt flew off as they were riding bikes. I wish I got to hear more of her stories. I never saw my Nan as a typical 'nan' figure, even in her older age she was still very much 'with it'; although, the same can't be said for her eyesight. I remember one time when she was driving me to school and there was a small island in the road which I assumed she'd noticed - she hadn't. She drove right over it and we actually felt the car lift off the ground! We laughed hysterically - luckily there were no other cars around at the time because it could've had a very different outcome but neither of us thought about that, my Nan certainly didn't. Years later we'd still laugh and joke about it, it's a memory I'll never forget and I'm sure I'll laugh to myself when I learn to drive and drive *around that same island. I'll miss my Nan greatly; although, I find comfort in that she'll be with Lauren as they were very close - I know she'd be waiting with a cup of coffee and a cigarette โค

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bethpenzer. New year, new makeupโœจ I couldn't resist treating myself to a little be

New year, new makeupโœจ I couldn't resist treating myself to a little beauty parcel from @feelunique, especially as it was half price! The packaging is so cute, if I'd ordered it before Christmas it'd definitely be hanging on the tree๐ŸŽ„ It might come as a surprise but I've never tried @anastasiabeverlyhills makeup so I can't wait to give this nude / 90's brown lip gloss a try!๐Ÿ’„ --------------------------- #blogger #bloggershare #bblogger #beautyblogger #blogginggals #feelunique #beautyparcel #anastasiabeverlyhills #productreview #flashesofdelight #thehappynow #ambhappylife #petitejoys #livethelittlethings #calledtobecreative #verilymoment #theartofslowliving #aquietstyle #seekthesimplicity #makeitblissful #chooselovely #howyouglow #oneofthebunch

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bethpenzer. I'm currently writing a blog post on my new skincare routine, which in

I'm currently writing a blog post on my new skincare routine, which includes my first EVER @thebodyshop haul - I'm so excited to be trying their products for the first time!โœจ A few months back, I asked you guys over on Twitter to recommend some products for my acne-prone, oily skin which was breaking out like CRAZY at the time and I had a huge response!๐Ÿ’“ Many of you suggested The Body Shop clay masks, so I thought I'd give them (and a few other products) a try! If you've read my latest blog post, you'll know that my current skincare routine wasn't quite cutting it for my Winter skin, so I thought I'd try introducing some new products into my routine which I'll be telling you about very soon...๐Ÿ‘€ If you haven't read my requested (and latest) post on Carbon Laser Facials and Microdermabrasion, the link in my bio will take you right to it!๐Ÿ˜Š --------------------------- #thebodyshop #bodyshopteatree #skincarehaul #blogger #bloggershare #bblogger #beautyblogger #blogginggals #selfcare #skin #skincare #skincareaddict #iloveskincare #productreview #flashesofdelight #thehappynow #ambhappylife #petitejoys #livethelittlethings #calledtobecreative #verilymoment #theartofslowliving #aquietstyle #seekthesimplicity #makeitblissful #chooselovely #howyouglow #oneofthebunch

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๐Ÿ“ Bourton on the Water My third and final Cotswold post (for now anyway). I can't wait to go back to this beautiful place for a weekend getaway in nine days time - what a perfect way to start the year!๐ŸŽ‰ Jess and I are going back to where we spent our anniversary and I'm so excited to experience it in Winter!โ„ What are your January plans? ---------------------- #cotswolds #travelblogger #adventures #exploring #wanderlust #flashesofdelight #pursuepretty #darlingmovement #thehappynow #ambhappylife #thatsdarling #petitejoys #livethelittlethings #amblifeiscolourful #mybeautifulmess #calledtobecreative #DScolor #thatauthenticfeeling #verilymoment #postitfortheaesthetic #theartofslowliving #aquietstyle #seekthesimplicity #makeitblissful #chooselovely #howyouglow #oneofthebunch #england #GloriousBritain

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๐Ÿ“ Bourton on the Water It's the first day of 2019. For many, it's the start of resolutions and new beginnings; for me, the new year isn't something I'm particularly celebrating. That being said, 2018 was a pretty good year for me, putting aside what happened in the last 3 months. I kicked off the year with a new job, travelled to new places, celebrated my 1 year anniversary with Jess, went horse riding, fell even more in love, got a job at Lush (which wasn't for me and that's okay), got into university (which I'm loving), did things I never thought I could, faced some fears, grew as a person both on and offline, made new friends, reunited with old ones, got tattooed, learnt to love and care for myself, overcame my struggles with food and I pushed my anxieties to the limit. I got my life back. Right now, I'm not in the best mental space but I know it will pass. I have so many goals for 2019 and I'm determined I will achieve them, one day at a time. ---------------------- #newyear #cotswolds #travelblogger #adventures #exploring #wanderlust #flashesofdelight #pursuepretty #darlingmovement #thehappynow #ambhappylife #thatsdarling #petitejoys #livethelittlethings #amblifeiscolourful #mybeautifulmess #calledtobecreative #DScolor #thatauthenticfeeling #verilymoment #postitfortheaesthetic #theartofslowliving #aquietstyle #seekthesimplicity #makeitblissful #chooselovely #howyouglow #oneofthebunch #england #GloriousBritain

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