Whoever that is ! Don’t be or try to be everyone else’s Unique, but just be “YOU” nique! The person you know, the person you love & the ones that matter will Love that “YOU” nique too. 🎠 Have a very blessed Sunday my friends 🎠
Today my hope and love for all my followers (friends&family) are that if you are spending Christmas on your own, maybe some Loved ones are missing or have moved on, I pray that God puts peace, love & Joy in your heart! I pray He will fill your heart with His Love! ❤️ If you are spending it with Friends or Family I pray that it will be filled with abundance of Love & Joy! ❤️ God loves you, His love never changes & He is always with you. I hope in this crazy time of the year that you get some quiet time with Dad today! ❤️ So much love and blessings from the Bottom of my heart to you ALL! I’m grateful for all your comments and messages and activity on my page! ❤️ You are all a Big Beautiful Christmas Gift to me ! You All encourage me to Live out my passion which is to help others by writing & sharing my journey with you! ❤️ You are the reason I became a Coach and a Lay Councillor so I can help others turn their life into Victories. My name means Victorious & it’s always kept me moving forward in my journey . I want you to see that your name Also has a big meaning for your life. I find joy in your messages telling me how I’ve in a small way made some differences to your way of thinking ! It’s an ongoing journey for me too sometimes , I won’t declare to know it all, but that My heart is all for you & you also encourage me to keep learning & striving to be better in myself , to pick myself up when I fall so I can help & guide you better when you get there! If I had a perfect life I would not have been able to help you with the guidance of our Dad on how to get to that light at the end of the tunnel. Life is full of challenges, but if you see the Good in Life, more Good will show up for you in your life! Don’t hang around bad people...be it family or friends, choose the people you hang around with carefully. There are too many good people out there than to spend it with those that constantly hurt you with their actions or words. Pray4them, but choose your time with them wisely, because ultimately we become who we spend our time with the most! Choose your joy, choose happiness, bless someone today with your kind heart ❤️ I really appreciate you all ❤️
Powerful people can say both “yes” and “no” and mean it. Their language is not swayed by the pressure or mistakes of others. They say, "I will. I do. I am.” And when powerful people say, “I love you," there is nothing that can stop them. Their love is not dependent on being loved in return. ⚜️ Powerful people can say “yes” to the priority of connection with those they love-and they can say “no” to anything that threatens that priority. You will always know where you stand with them. They won’t leave you guessing! ⚜️ Do you fall in this category? • If you choose to love someone, do you feel entitled to receive his or her love in return? Do you demand it? • Think about this; Is God's love based upon your ability to love Him in return? Do you have a believe that He ONLY loves you when you love Him?! Or do you believe in your heart & mind that He loves you on your good & not so good days?! Can you grant this to your loved ones?! So Once you have said "yes" in your heart to love another, what is your motive to stay connected?
An exciting, eventful wonderful , skiing morning! . Only in our Beautiful South Africa 🇿🇦 . So as I came off probably my 3rd run, I was still in the water taking my ski’s off & suddenly a shot was fired from a rifle! About 60m from where our boat was standing still , so I could get in! Everyone just shouted: That was a shot!!! Get in & we drove off to warn another family boat. . In South Africa life is good, no stress, so much fun & sunshine if you are on a boat with the right people 🤣! . A call was made to a certain important guy & in 10min a Police Helicopter was there! I thought our police are a bit slow....turns out you just got to know the right people that knows the right people 😉🤗! . Excellent morning, absolutely amazing water to ski in, i made some great new friends & I would not trade this day for any other place. . Once you have lived somewhere else like I did in the UK, my heart is always split. When I’m here there are certain things I miss from my London, home ,when I’m in London I always missed home ! I’ve made peace with it & I will forever love both & now choose to only see the Good that I have here at home for now! If I get on a flight tomorrow back to wherever, I will miss this day no matter what happened! . Choose to always see the Good & you will be happy No matter where you are ! In London I was rich with friends, at home I’m rich in Family ! Hopefully one day soon I will be rich in both no matter where life leads me ! . Make the best of today! Choose to only See the Good! Appreciate it all , the good & the bad 💗
Relationships God’s way?Or the Worlds way?It’s changed allot! I choose Gods way, His ways never change!Gods way means that men prepare to initiate, and women, you should be prepared to respond. Does this mean that if girls ask guys out on dates that you’re doomed? No. But I’ll certainly say - not ideal! . Why? Well, I’ve asked some married women in the Councelling room a few Questions! Especially the ones who gripe about their husbands’ lack of leadership or initiative. It can be something small like his inability to pick a movie or pizza toppings, or big like his refusal to discipline their children or go to church. When I ask these women when these patterns started, most of them can easily trace them back to their dating days. Hear me out ladies;the patterns you establish in dating carries over to marriage! If you want to marry a leader, date a leader. If you want to date someone going to church then date someone active in his Church! It’s actually simple! You can’t expect 10yrs later for him to do these things if it was never there in the beginning to start with! If you want these things wait for the guy that steps up & boldly asks you out! . A friend challenged me to ask guys out & I promise you ladies😳, once you experience that....you will never be rude to any guy taking courage! It was one of my hardest things I ever tried which made me grateful I’m a girl & the one 2b pursued! Guy’s need to state their intentions (“I’d like to date you”) and provide a safe space for you to accept or *reject him - *IN A KIND, firm way Ladies! So the guy flatly lies his cards on the table while you hold yours tight to yr chest. He should let you respond and receive your response graciously. If you reject him his mindset should be “thank you” & not scold you. Carolyn McCulley said something a while back that made this issue crystal clear to me. She said, “Men trust God by risking rejection; women trust God by waiting.” So what does Gods way actually look like? For men, it’s a correct application of Proverbs 18:22 which states, “He who finds a wife finds what is good.” Notice the word “finds”! ACTIVE verb. Implies ACTION&intention, getting out there searching & pursuing.
Exactly as it says☺️ Remember that a woman that can forgive & love again is not weakness! It’s a super woman strength ☺️😉
When people say they can’t see anything GOOD in you... HUG them HARD and say: “LIFE IS DIFFICULT FOR THE BLIND” 😜😜😜😜😜
As Promised: Going from Avoidant to more Secure: As I explained in my previous post I had a fear of giving my heart & Love away. Subconsciously I was pushing love away because of the deep hurt I experienced & attracting the wrong friends & even guys who had no issue to chase me down for a year because to them the chase was exciting. You don’t want to attract those kind of guys! Being open , honest, available, loving usually quickly chases those kind of guys away. Being an Avoidant I would give people one chance, one chance only & if they were not perfect I would shut the door, walk away never to give anyone another chance, not even friendship. And I never regretted my decision always believing I am right, they are wrong & I then usually I could move on quickly! I believed Love had to be perfect, no mistakes, no apologies because at a young age not really understanding love I lost a perfect relationship where there was one disagreement ever! And before my Life Changed I watched every Disney movie portraying Love as perfect 🤣🤣See how I’m just going to blame Disney for that 1 🤣🤣! Sadly what I realised after 10years & finally getting healing in a ministry did I realise that Love is a Choice & you grow through communicating disagreements & trying to understand each other better! I had to override my Fear Part in my brain. The amygdala is linked to the parts of the brain that govern your senses, muscles and hormones – enabling your body to react quickly to the sight or sound of a threat. So now each time I act in fear , to override that neuron that I’ve built over the years, I now act in Love. Instead of running or walking away I stay & I communicate.....it’s an on going journey & im so blessed to have amazing friends around me who are Secure & will always say to me: Vickie, that reaction was not you, you just acted out of fear. So it’s also so important to have loving caring friends & family around to remind you of your loving self & not the fear you! BUT First & Foremost I had to accept Gods unconditional Love for me First before any change could occur! More on the fear part in your brain in my next post & how to make it a daily exercise to overcome 💗
Always Loving more will bring you healing & leave less scars! 💗 A closed off, creating distance, keeping people at an arms length, scared, frightened heart will attract the wrong people ! 💗 Being responsive, open, honest, moving towards closeness & intimacy, keeping your love on, receptive to messages, picking up that special persons call will chase away the Avoidant! Avoidant = wants zero intimacy & closeness, scared of commitment, hides their deepest need for a partner, so your love and responsiveness will be too much for them & chase them away! 💗 Don’t fall for those cheap magazine stories telling you to play games & take a few days before you answer their calls or text! Those people make a living off selling you those stories! 💗 If you want real & true Love , don’t play stupid games! You will only meet avoidants and not meet a secure person! 💗 More on how to change from an Avoidant to a Secure partner & how to know if you are dating a secure partner in my next few post! And no, secure & grounded does not mean perfect & that they never make mistakes, but if you want intimacy , Secure is the person you want to find! 💗 Stay tuned 😉
So, I’ve had some questions regarding my last post on marriage! I just Want to make clear that it does not count the same for dating! Pls don’t confuse the 2. I’m not saying to run/chase someone that’s ignoring you! I’m also not going to say I’m the expert in dating either🤣, but I’m the expert in “ME” & knowing “ME”. So I’ve decided to share a few highlights from my journey & why you should never run after the “Avoident, closed off” person! I was once this person myself (5yrs ago for 10yrs) ,but I’ve learnt to help or correct the situation immediately if my fear of Love now kicks in! Let me explain: FIRST LOVE: I bet everyone can remember their first love! Mine was magical until he unfortunately died in a Car crash. I was shattered, but I kept it mostly inside! The caring advice I was given was don’t worry as soon as you find someone else you will be fine.I soon realised to hide my pain & act normal on the outside! My close friend who came to tell me he had died made it his goal to look after me. Every day after class he would check if I’m ok! Unfortunately 2years later his girlfriend cheated on him & he was so angry & hurt that he drove into a wall which put him in a coma😔! My parents took me each day to see him @hospital, but he sadly also never made it! I wrongly decided to write his girlfriend a “blame” letter (out of hurt) & so her friends bullied me & my parents had to move me! Unknowingly as you can imagine I locked down my heart never to give it away again. Until after 10yrs passed, saying no to 2marriage proposals & each guy I left saying: They knew I never loved them. That hurt, as I really thought I did. So my discovery journey of 5yrs single started where I chose to stay single, to discover God & love on a new Level by going into ministry. I did many ministry courses & after 5years single I could finally open my heart for Love! I got engaged, but unfortunately this time I had to walk away because of “his” past hurts still hanging,but it was the best feeling ever to realise how I could finally love. I realised I had more scars from closing off my heart than I did from just Loving all the way!So this is why I’m always talking about Love more!
Handshake of Peace Is there a relationship in your life that has in some way been severed or shattered? Is there a gap in a relationship that you feel is irreconcilable? Today, I want you to think about the possibility of reconciliation, restoration, and resolution in those relationships. If you belong to Jesus, God’s purpose and plan is that you would find a way to live at peace with everybody. You may think this is impossible, but remember that with God all things are possible. Through the cross God made peace with you. He wanted a love relationship with you, a friendship. Thus, the cross is the template for reconciliation in your relationships. And the most important element in that reconciliation is the gospel. Jesus overcame evil with good, and he asks you to do the same by loving those who might have unknowingly hurt you. We all have had bad experiences in the past, sometimes someone comes along & unknowingly trigger that past hurt in us, it’s not their fault! However, if there is going to be reconciliation in your life, you are going to have to take the axe of grace and cut down the tree of bitterness and resentment. You are going to have to ask God to make that situation with the other person into a story that reflects his mercy. It’s not natural to forgive others who have wronged you. But as a Jesus follower you can see this possibility for peace, because you know that if God can make peace with you, he can make peace with anybody. Scripture says “as far as it depends on you,” because you are the one who’s got the supernatural power of Jesus in your life. So it is on you to go as far as possible to seek the peace. If you want to really stand out in life and become a peacemaker, you will have to go the second mile. You will have to refuse to allow destructive patterns like creating distance & avoidance to be reestablished in your life. You have to own your part in the hurt and let go of your need to get even or keep record of the wrong. Because as far as it depended on you, you chose to live at peace with others—regardless of their response to you. What mindset is required for you to live at peace with others? Spend time in His Word Today 💗
Feeling so Grateful for Grace Church giving us a space to Council & forever keeping us up with training! 💗 Nothing gives me more joy than receiving an email like this from a beautiful loving couple who we recently councelled in their marriage! 💗 My absolute passion in Councelling is through Gods grace & guidance to councel married couples going through storms in their marriage! And it’s never through our own humanly strength, but just being open & letting God use us as His Vessels that He moves in these rooms & in their hearts! To me it’s so rewarding meeting couples who in our first few sessions have so many struggles & sometimes openly fight in front of us in the Councelling room & then most times in a few weeks or more to see them lovingly walk out hand in hand! To me there is no better reward in life than to see marriages heal! 💗Keep fighting the good fight! 💗keep your love on! 💗With God in your relationship restoration is ALWAYS possible! 💗Never give up on your marriage! 💗Marriage is not : what can I get out, but what can I put in. It’s about giving yourself completely, loving your husband or wife on their good & bad days! It’s a daily choice to love! To keep on loving when you don’t feel like it, to keep on loving when it’s not given back in return! Don’t be afraid to be the one that loves the most 💗 💓 So with this email I actually just want to give honour to God & thank Him for moving so lovingly & kind in their marriage 🙏🏻⛪️🙌🏼
Silence = lowest form of communication. Some would say that to call silence communication is a contradiction in terms. But we all know that in a relationship context with friends, family or Love, the silence is usually saying something. You know how it goes. The silence is screaming at you, “THERE IS SOMETHING WRONG,” so you ask yr friend, Love or family, “What’s wrong?” only to be told, “NOTHING!” What comes next is where the relationship WEED of silence begins to kill the relationship. In the void created by the silence, conspiracy theories are incubated in your head, fear takes root and insecurities deepen. You think you know what’s wrong, but you may not be right & in the silence, your wrong conclusions fester, grow & slowly choke the relationship. We must never let the weed of silence take root in our relationship soil. Good communication is a relationship feed that must be added consistently to the soil of out relationships. Communication is the “process of sharing information with another person in such a way that they understand what you are saying”. That process involves speaking, listening, body language, expressions and especially touch ,but always with the aim of being properly understood. It has been observed that when people communicate there are at least 6 messages that come through. 1. What you mean to say 2. What you actually say 3. What the other person hears (3 is usually the biggest problem, depending how that persons day went, what is going on in their heart. They can hear wrong depending how their day went or from past experiences) 4. What the other person thinks they hear 5. What the other person says about what you said 6. What you think the other person said about what you said It’s no wonder we misunderstand each other sometimes ! Does this mean you can never be silent with a loved one? No! Doing activities 2gether is communicating! My best friend of 30 yrs, we just know & understand each others deepest secrets! We can spend a whole day together making breakfast, baking together, having a glass of wine, without saying much & we always have the best of days together because Love,connection, activities-DOING Life2gether = communication
Unconditional love in any relationship be it friends, family or Love, says: “No matter what you do, I am going to pursue the goal of connection with you.” Anxiety will arise when there are personal differences in the relationship, and fear will tempt you to run away from one another. However, in committing to love & care unconditionally, you commit to keep moving toward one another even when you are scared. . Committing to pursue and protect your connection with someone means that you will be thinking about how your decisions will affect that person while making adjustments accordingly. This means that you will be managing yourself in a manner that protects your connection. This is the ultimate expression of freedom, and that is what it means to be a humble , but powerful person.. Ask yourself: 💓• Are you able to keep your love, friendship, relationship on with someone who currently has a goal of distance and/or isn’t meeting your needs? 💓• Is your love for someone determined by whether or not his or her affection for or acceptance of you in return is guaranteed? Or, are you able to choose connection when you have no idea if the other person will choose you or also keep connecting in return? What will you choose ? Comment below 👇🏾👇🏾
Such a beautiful, real & heart touching Sisterhood event LINC Church in Ballito! The message was all about being in our caves ! We need to step out of our comfort zones which is our caves and God will meet us there! The blessing comes in the Stepping out 💓 No fear, have faith ! . I hope you will all step out of your comfort zone today & do something different. I know I’ve done something completely different & out of my comfort zone the last 10 days. Like that saying “if you want a different outcome, you can’t do what you have always done”. It’s got to be different! And it something that goes against my every hair strand. Something I would usually just walk away from. Let it be, leave it! When we fear, when we feel the pain coming or uncertainty it is our brains natural instinct to warn us , to protect us, so sometimes the easy road is to shut off, shut down & push away or hurt back bec we feel the hurt ! But to stand & stay & endure the rejection over and over and over !! That is the hard part especially when You feel on your heart God is saying: stay, stand, endure, don’t listen to your brain and don’t keep running! Believe me, I’ve made that mistake, but God is saying Let my love Shine in you & through you. You have my strength in you .......there is a blessing in that & the blessing is near ! . So today I just want to encourage you that when you feel fear rising up......breath, before you re-act....wait....it’s just chemicals shooting up to your brain to protect you & telling you to move away from what may hurt you ! Our brain is amazing in warning us of danger, but sometimes it’s just our own fear in moving forward into the unknown, not sure if we stay will it hurt more! Give it 30mins to cool down do some breathing & then respond! (It takes practice, you won’t get it right every time believe me! In the beginning it’s the hardest, so you have to just keep going & keep practicing) . So much Love to you my friends ! Remember : stand, stay, endure, don’t run, face - He has given you everything you need for every situation! No situation is too big for you to handle ! 💓
YES WE HAD the Best day !!! Who else survived NOT buying things you don’t need on Black Friday 😜?! Comment below 👇🏾